hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
