Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
