If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
All I want is dick and wine.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
