you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
