I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
