We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
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I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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