Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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