I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
