I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
