I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
