My nipple is on Facebook.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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