I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
