Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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