fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
