I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
