Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
