too bad you live with your parents still
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
