I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Of course I have a pirate flag
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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