I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
