Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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