just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
