Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
