Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize