My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
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I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
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I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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