i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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