tell your sister to shave her snatch
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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