I can tuck mytits in my pants
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
