Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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