I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
