every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
