It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
