i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
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I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
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The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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