i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
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his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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