OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just invented taco cereal.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
