Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
