Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize