It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
