Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
