so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
my liver is dry heaving
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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