I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
