My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
