You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
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She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize