Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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