Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
