fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
