So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
time to smoke my breakfast
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
