i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
