I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
