you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
