so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
