Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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