I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
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