she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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