im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
