The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
