would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
