i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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