Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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