Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize