his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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