belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
