Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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