At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
MIDGETS
????
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
