Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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