i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She bit a glass in half.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
