I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
