you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize