We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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