i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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